UCII. "This kind of jesting, above all, then,, though it powerfully excit^B laughter, is not suited to us; it lepreaents the morose, the HuperstitioUB, the auspicious, the vaiuglorions, the foolish; — habits of mind which are iu tbemselvea ridicnlous; and such kind of characters we are to expose, not tu assume. There is another kind of jesting which is extremely ludicrous, namely mimicry; but it is allowable only in us to attempt it cautiously, if ever we do attempt it, and but for a moment, otherwise it is far from becoming to a man of edi». OBtion. A third is distortion of features, utterly unworthy of us. A fourth is indecency in language, a di^race not only to the forum, but to aiiy company of well-bred people. So many things, then, being deducted fiwm this part of oratory, the kinds of jesting which ren^ain are (as I distinguished them, before) such as consist ia thought or in expreesion. That which, in whatever terms you express it, is still wit, consists iu the thought; that which by a change of words loses its spirit, has no wit but what depends on eipression.
" Plays oa ambiguous words are extremely ingeaious, but depend wholly on the eipreflsion, not on the matter. They seldom, however, excite much laughter, but are rather commended aa jests of elegance and scholarship; as that about TitiuB, whom, being a great tennis-player, and at the some time suspected of having broken the sacred Images by night, Terentiua Tospa excused, when his comptnions inquired for him, aa he did not come to the Campus Martius, by sayicg that he had bi-oken an arm. Or as that of Africanus, which ia m Luoiliua, Qvidl Stcim, mtmlam an e^nfixum vit faom! inquiL' ' This YBTBB of LuciliuB would he imintelligibla to ub, even if wo wars cErtoin that tlia rBadiag of it is sound. Heufiisger thiokJi that Lndlius referred to the gama plaved with uutB, which the author of the eleg; entitled " Nux " moatioos: Qaas pu£r auC recttu certo dilamiaat ielit. Others think that c<mjicum faare signifies merely con£-girt. Emeeti supposes tbst a sorb of dish, made of pieces of ð, fricoKe, is meant. Schutz saggeets that, if this be the meaning of eonfimim, some kind of eutable must he intended b; nvcaid. But this prints ns nothing. SUmdt.
I I Or, as your friend Granius, Craaaus, Baid of somebody. That he was not vioi-th. the sixth part of an as} And if you were to ask me, I should say that be wlia is called a jester, excels chiefly iu jokes of this kind; but that other jests excite laughter ia a greater degree. The ambiguous gaioa great admiration, as I obsei'ved before, from its nature, for it appears the part of a wit to be able to turn the force of a word to quite another sense than that in which other people take it; but it excites surprise rather than laughter, unless when it happens to be joined with some other sorts of jesting.
LXIII. " Some of these sorts of jesting I will now run over: but you are aware that that is the most common kind of joke, when wo expect one thing and another ie said; in which case our own disappointed expectation makes ua laugh. But if something of the ambiguous is thrown in with it, the wit is heightened; as in Xteviua, a man seems to be moved with compassion who, seeing another, that was senteuced for debt, being led away, inquires, jFor ftow m'ueh is he adjudged t He is answered, A thousand sestertii. If he had then added only. You may take hint away, it would have been a species of joke that takes you by surprisej but as be said, I add ■no more; you may take him away, (thus introducing the ambiguous, another kind of jest,) the repartee, as it seems to me, ia rendered witty in the highest degree. Such eqoi-TOcation is most happy, when, in any dispute, a word is caught from your adversary, and thenco something eevere is turned upon the very person who gave the provocation, as hy Catulus upon Philippus.^ But as there are several sorts of ambiguity, with regard to which accurate study is necessary, we should he attentive and on the watch for words; and thus, though we may avoid frigid witticisms, (for we must be cautious that a jest be not thought fer-fetched,) we shall hit upon many acute sayings. Another kind is that which consists in a slight change in a' word, which, when produced by the alteration of a letter, the Greeks call Trapavofmaix, as Cato called Nobilior^ Mobilior; or as, when he had said to a certain ' JVon eist tfxtantis. A pliroBO applied either to anything wortli mora than a lextaiv, and tberefurs perhape of groat valuer or to imytluDg worth leaa tliaji a eextant, or of no value at all, Tamdiiu, Fulviua Nobilior. Goto had accusod him. of having taken C. LXIV,] OJf THE CHARACTER OF THE ORATOR. 207 pereou, Eamus diambulatam, and the other aeked, Quid opiu fait dbI Cato rejoined, Imd nerd, quid opva fuit te)'- Or that repartee of the eame Cato, If yov, are both advene and averse m your s/uimeless practices. The interpretation of a name also has wit iu it, when you assign a ridiouloua reafioa vihy a person ia so called; as I lately said of Hummius, who distributed money^ at elections, that he had found a name in. the Campus Martins as Nooptolemus found one at Troy.
LXIV. " All Buch jokes he in a single word Often too a verse is humorously introduced, either just as it is, or with some little alteration; or some part of a verse, as Statins said to Scaurus when in a violent passion: (whence some r, CiasHUB, that your law ^ on citizenship had. its rise:) ■ Hush 1 Silpnce I what is all Ihia coiBO! Havi Who neither h&ve a father nor a mother, ^ Such confidence? Away with all that pride.
the case of Ctelius, that jolce of youiSj Antonius, ^ assuredly of advantage to your cause; when, appearing as a witness, he had admitted that a great deal of money had gone from him, and as he had a son who was a man of pleasure, you, as he was going away, said, See you the old man, touch'd for thirty minm? To the same purpose proverbs may he applied; as iu tho joke of Scipio, when Asellus waa boasting that while he had served in tho army, he had marched through all the provinces, Drive an an, tfcc' Such jokeSj as they cannot, if any poets with him into bis province, and called tiirn ifobUior, to denote hia levity, which, among the Homans, who were fond of gravity and atoadineaa, waa a great crime. Tumebvt, See Cie. TuBC Quset. i. 2. He had also built a temple to the Muses. Cic ib. et Arch. o. 11; Brut. 0. 20; Plin. H, N. uxt. 3B. ■ Elltndt.
' This appears to ua modemB a very poor joke. No trajialation caa make it intelligible to those who do i;cit understand the original.
' Divaortia. JHttiaoret were thoae who distributed money among the tribes, in the name of the candidate!!, as bribes foe their votes. See Cic Verr. L 8; Plane. 19. EOendL ' The Lftx Licinia MiKta de civibva rtgendU, A.n.c. 05B, by which it waa provided that no oue should be accounted a utijun who was not waUy ft citizen. Cio. Off. iu, 11. EUendL 1^ ^ Tnniobns thinks that tho reference is to the Greek proverb, Et fii] I DB ORATORE; OB, diaoge ia made in tlie words of them, retain the BUme grace, ara Decessarily considered aa turning, not on the matter, bat. on the mere expression.
" There ia also a kind of joke, not at all absurd, which lies in eipreHsion, when you seem to onderstaad a thing literally, and nut in its obvious metininy;; iu which kind it viaa that Tutor,"- the old mimic, an exceedingly laughable actor, exduaively distinguished himself. But I have nothing to do with actors; I only wished tliis kind of jesting, to be illuatrateil by some notable example. Of this kind was your answer lately, Crasaus, to one who asked you whether he thovXd ie froubUeome if he canie to you tome Hme b^ore it wa« light: and you said. You uiill not be troublesome; when he rejoined, Fom viill order yourtelf to he waked then f to which you replied, Surely I mid that you. would not be troublesome. Of the same aort was that old joke which they say that Marcus Scipio Halugineusis made, when be had to report from his century that Acidinus was Toted consul, and the officer cried out, Declare as to Zucvus Maulius, he said, / declare him to be a worthy man, and an excellent member of &e commonwealth. The answer of Lucius [Borcius]^ ih'aBica to Cato the censor was humorous enough, when Cato said to bim, Are y9u truly satisfied that you have taken a wife } ^o, indeed, replied Nnsica, / am not indy »atitjiad? Such jests are insipid, or witty only when another answer is expected; i<x «ur surprise (as I before* obserred) naturally amuses luj and thus, whea we are deceived, as it were, in our espeetatin^V we laugh. ^ LXV. " Those jest^ also lie ia words, which spring from Sima pour, JfAnuvc Smr, " U joa eaopot drivo aa ox, drive an aaa," (aea Apostol. Prov. viL 63; Zenob. liL 94; ) but that proverb scama iniipplicuble to this pssaage. Tdlaeus imd LambinuB suppoEw, with, more probability, that aomstbing like this must bo uadentoud: Agas aiellnm, cunmn nun dou&ifur. AselluB is Bgtttn meutjoaad in c 66. BUmdt.
' Nothing ia recorded of that actor ia psutommio. Ellendl.
' This psBBBge ia conrnpt, bat n ao emeadatiun of It can be trusted. It will be Bufflcient to enoloae Pond'a in brackets. Orellim.
» Ex tai amimi ttntcntid tu itcorein Aai«,' The wordB ex anina Knieaiid had two BigaifioatiotiB: they whto used by the oaiiBors in putting quBstiona in tho aense of " truly, aJDcerely; " but they were used ia common conveniBtion in the senBS of " to a peraoa's Batii^tion." From Ibe ambignity of the pbisse prooeeiia the jofca.
*e.Bs.
)rical use of ^M FroDi alle- ^M Ea. nronoseil ^ C. LIVT.] OS THE CHABACTEB OF THE OBATOB, some allegorical phraseology, or from a metRphorical i some one word, or from using words ironioajlj'. FroDt a gorical phraseology: as when Euaea, in old times, proposed the lanr to fix the ages of candidates for ofitcea, ood Marcus Servilms, who opposed the law, said to him; Tell me, Marcus Finariiit Rusca, if I Ipeak againtt you, vnll you ipeaJc ill of mt at you hxue spoken of others 1 As you ehall sow, replied lie, $0 you shall reap. From tha use of a single word iu a metaphorical sense: as when the elder Scipio said to the Corinthians, wbo offered to put up a statue of him in the place where those of other comnianders were. That he did iiot }ike such comrades. From the ironical use of words; as when Craaaus spoke for Aculeo before Marcus Perperna as judge, and Lucius jKliua Lama appeared for Gratidianoa against Aculeo, and Lama, who was deformed, as you know, olftred impertinent interruptions, Crassua said, Zet us hear this beautiful youth. When a laugh followed, / could not form my ovfn Jiape, said Lamia, but I could form my underttandiwj. Then, said Crassus, let lo hear (Ais able orator; when a greater laugh than before ensned. Such jests arc agreeable as weU in grave as in humorous speeches. For I observed, a little while ago,^ tliat the subjects for jest and for gravity are distinct; but that the same form of expression will serve for grave remarks, as for jokes. Words antithetically used' are a great ornament to language; and the same mode of using them is often also humorous; thus, when the well-known SaTius Galba carried to Lucius Scribfinias the trilnme a list of his own intimates to be appointed as judges, and Libo said, Whcft, Octlbct, will you never go out of your vani diningroom, I Yes, replied Galba, tehen you go out of other men's bedchambers. To this kind of joke tha saj-ing of Glaucia to Metellus is not very dissimilar: you have your villa at Tibur, but your court on mount Palatine.^ liXVI, " Such kinds of jokes as lie in words I think that I have now sufficiently discussed; but suoii as relate to things ' Ferbt relata eontrarU. WLieh tlie Oreeki call irriStTa, when cmtrariis opjKmwMiir amiyaria. Cla Or. 60.
' VUlam. in- TWwle Aabei, corleM in Palalio. Otra at ehors meant B coop, pen, or moveable aheeji-fo!d. Schuta and StrebBua, therefoto, Buppose that Qlancia intended to deaigmite the conipsnioas of Mat^ud IU tufi/e, for which he had a pro on the Palatini DE ORATOIIB; OB, merous, &nd esciCe more laughter, aa I before.^ Among them is namitive, a matter of exceeding ditRcuUy; for auoh thinga are to be described and set before the eyes, as may aeem to be probable, which is the esoellei of narration, and such also as ore grotesque, which is peculiar province of the ridiculous; for an example, as shortest that I recollect, lot that serve which 1 mentioned before, the story of Crasaus about Memmius.^ To this head wc may assign the narratives given in fables. Allusions ate also drawn from history; as when Sextua Titius' said he was a Cassandra, / can name, said Antonius, mani/ of your Ajaca Oilei.* Such jests are also derived from iimUUudei, which include either companion or something of bodily 7tpresenlation. A comparison, aa whon Callus, that was once a witness against Pisoj said that a countless sum of money had been given to Magius'' the governor, and Scaurua tried to conftite him, by alleging the poverty of Magiua, Yov, mUlake me, Scaurta, said he, for I do not iay that Magiin has saved it, 6«( that, li^ a man gathering nuls wiihovt fiis clolhet, he hoK put i( into hii belly. Or, as wben Mtttcus Cicero'^ the eldeij the father of that excellent man our friend, aaid. That the of ourtimes were like the Syrian slaves; the more Greet: knew, the greater knaves they were. Representations also create much laughter, and these commonly bear upon some deformity, or bodily defect, with a comparison to something still more deformed: aa my own saying on Helvius Mancia, / wHinow show, said I, what sort of man you are; when he claimed. Show ia, I pray yowj and I pointed with my fii _ to a Gaul represeuted upon the Cimbrian shield of Manual under the new shops'' in the fomm, with hia body distorted, his tongue lolling out, and his cheeks flabby. A general laugh ensited; for nothing was ever seen to resemble Manaia so much. Or as I said to the witness Titus Pinarius, who twisted his chin about while he was speaking, That he might * AntooiuB impudicoa hominis mores inuectsitur, ctini Cassandne obi] Ajace post HipuguatBin Trojam vim illfttani fuiaao conetet. ELltndl.
^ Of Magiua nothing ia known- EtleTidi.
' The grandfather of the orator, as is clearly shown by Comdiu in QuffiBt. Ernati.
' Stih Novii. Undflratandraiemti arpendiriii. See P. Fabr. Bd Qunatti ' ■ >. 22; DrakenboKh ad IJr. uii. 27; uliv. 17. " fore ^ tb(»^ ingee^l CVri.] ON THB 0B4BACTEB OP THE OKiTOR.
speai, if h« pleased, if he had done cracking his nut. There are jokes, too, from things being eitenuflted or exaggerated hjperbolicallj, and to astonish.; as you, Crassus, eaid in a speech to the people, that Memmiut fancied himself so great a man, that as he came into the forum, he stooped his head at the arch of Fahiui. Of which, kind is the saying also, that Scipio is reported to have uttered at Numantia when he was angry with Metellus, ihaX If his mother were to produce a fifth, ^uovld bring forth an ass.^ There is also frequently acuteness shown, when something obscure and not commonly known ia illustrated by a slight circumBtanee, and often by a singla word; as when Publius Cornelius, a man, as was ■anspectad, of a covetous and rapacious disposition, but of great courage and an able commander, thanked Coiua rabricius for having, though he was his enemy, made him consul, especially during a dif&cult and important war. You have no veason to thank me, returned Fabrioius, if I had rather be pillaged than sold for a slave. Or, as Afrioanus said to AseUus, who objected to him that unfortunate lustration in his censorship. Bo not vionder; for he teho restored you to the rights of a cifisen, completed the Ivstraiion and sacrificed (he bull. There was a tacit suspicion, that Mummius seemed to Lave laid the state under the necessity of expiation by removing the mark of ignominy from Asellus.
LXVII. " Ironical disamulation has also an agreeable eflect, when you say something different from what you think; not after the manner to which I alluded before, when you say the exact reverse of what you mean, aa Crasaus said to Lamia, but when through the whote course of a speech you are seriously jocose, your thoughts being different from your words; as our friend Sesavola said to that Septumuleius of Anagnia, (to whom its weight in gold was paid for the head of Caius Gracchus,) when he petitioned that he would tate him as hia heutenaat^neral into Asia, What would yoa have, foolish man i there is such a multitude of bad irteenj thai, I warrant you, if you slay at Rome, you will in a few years maie a vast fortune. Fanuius, in his Annals, says that Aflicanua the younger, he that was named.^railiamia, was ' QuintuB Metdllus Mocedonicus, aa f Intitrcli relates in his treatiae A Fartmid Bomanontnt, had four aona, whose abilitiea were in propoiN.
K to their ages, the joaogeat beinj the leaat gifted. FroiM, ■» "1 DE oeatore; ok, remarkable for this kind of jeste; and calls him by a Greek term ci^niu', a.a iriHiical jester; but, according tu what those say who know these mutters better than myself I conceive that Socmtes, for irony and dissimulation, far excelled all other roen in the irit nnd genius which he displayed. It h an elegant kind of humour, satirical with a miitnre of gravity, and adapted to oratory as well aa to polite converaation. Indeed all the kinds of humour of which I have spoken, are seasoniags not more appropriate to law-pleadings in the forum, than to any other kind of disoourse. For that whu^ is mentioned by Cato, (who has reported many apophthegms, eeveral of which have been produced by me aa eiamples,) seems to me a very happy saying, that Gaiue Pvhlim vaed to obser»e that Fitblitu MumaixM wiu a man for alt occrmont; 80 it certainly is with regard to our present subject, that then is DO tdme of life in which wit and poUte humour may very properly be exeroiaed.
'■ But I will pursue the reminder of my eiibject. It is » kind of joking similar to a sort of dissimulation, when anything disgraceful is designated by an hononntble term; b£ when Africauufl tlie censor removed firom his tribe tliat centurion who absented himself from the battle in which Paulus oommanded, alleging that he had remained in the cwxip to guard it, and inquiring why he had such a mark of igaominy Get upon him, / do jiot liJx, replied Africanus, over viffilant people. It is aa excellent joke, too, when you take any part of another person's words in a different sense irom that which he intended; as Fabiua Masimns did with Livius Salinator,^ when, on Tarentum being lost, Liviua had still preserved the citadel, and had made many sucoesaful aalliea fi:om it, and FabiuB, some years afterwards, having retaken the town, Livius begged him to remember that it was owing to him that Tarentum was retaken. JIoib can I do otherwise than remember, said Fabius, ^r / ihotild never have retaken ii if 3/ou had not lost it. Such jokes as the following, too, are, though rather absurd, often on that very account estremdy ' The Bsme anecdote is notioBd by Cicaro, De Genect. c. i; and livf Bpenkg of the occurrenoe at aoiaB length, nvi. 25. But that the Marcna LiviuH there mentioned had not the cognomen of aalumtor, but of MaoatuB, it abowo by P. WcMeling, Obsa. ii. 6; and there Beoma little donbt that CioeiD mtids a nuEit^ra here, bb in Home ather pluiai, EOendL ON THE CHAtlACTEB OP THE ORATOE. 303 amusing, and TSry (tpposito, not only to characters in jjlays, liat bIbo to ua orators: »The foolish mMu I Ab booh OS ha had oooie to woalth, he died. Tbttt TToniBii, what ia she to you! My wifa Like yoii, ty Hercules 1 ' As long tm he wae llTmg at the waters LXVIII. "This kind of jakee is lather trifling, and, aa I Bald, fit for actora in feroes; but Bometiinea it finds a proper plMe with uB, as even one who is not a fool may express himself like n fool in a humorous way, ea Mancia congratulated you, AntoniuB, when he heard that you were aooused by Marcus Duronina of bribery in yonr censorship: At length, said he, you will liave an opportunity of aUendivg to yow own himifss. Such jesta excite great laughter, and in truth all sayings that are uttered by men of aense with a degree of abeurdity and sarcasm, under the pretence of not understanding what is said to them. A joke of thia kind is not to seem to comprehend what you comprehend very wdl; UB when Pontidius, being aaked, What do yvu. ilmOc cf him viho ie ialen in adultery? replied, Tliai he is slow. Or such as was iDj reply to Metellus, when, at a time of levying troops, he would not escuae me from eerring for the weakneee of my eyes, and aaid to me, What! can you see nothing? Tes truly, aUBvfered I, / can see your villa from the UsquUine-Gate.^ "Or as the repartee of Naaicft, who, having called at the house of the poet Enuiua, and the maid-servant having tdd him, on his inquiring at the door, that Enniue was not at home, saw that die had said so by her master's order, and that he was really within: and when, a few days afterwards, Enniua called at Nnsica's house, and inquired for him at the ' "Wb may suppoflo, aaye StrehnniH, the waman trt have heen deformed, ■DdBamoonetobaTBBB^ed thsmoit, "WhutreUtioniB that womnn to yon! yOHT miatert" When tbB mim answered, "My wife," the questirmer would eicUini, " And yet, how like you she is I I should han takeo her for your sister; " wittily indioating the defunuity of the ' The jofee, Bays Schutz, is in the word never, as if it ware poatiljle that n mnn might die several times. ' A FsSectioo. says Tumehus, on tha eztraordiiuuy uze and mi^niG-IB of the buildiug.
DS OKAT0R&; OK, gate, Nasioa cried out, That he was not at home. What? aaya EnniuB, do I not know your voice? You are an im/pudent Jellow, rejoined NaaiCB; when I inquired for you, I believed your tervant vihen the told me that you were not at home, and wiU not yoii believe me when I tell you that I am not at iomef It is a very happy stroke, too, when he wbo has uttered a saroaam iB' jested upon in the same strain in which be has attacked another: aa when Quiuttta Opimius, a man of coaeular dignity, who had the report of having heeu licentious in his youth, said to Egilius, a man of wit, who seemed to be an effeminate person, hut was in reality not BO, Hovi do you do, my Mgilial when mil you pay me a vwi with your distqff' and spindU? and Egiliua repHed, J certainly dare not; for my motJier forbad me to visit ■women of bad character.
LXIX; "There are witty sayings also which carry a concealed Buspicion of ridicule; of which sort is that of the Sicilian, who, when a friend of his made lamentation to him, saying, that his nife had hanged herself upon a fig-tree, said, I beseech you give me some shoots of tliat tne, tliat I may plant tkem. Of the same sort is what Catulus said to a cer* taiu bad orator, who, when he imagined that he had excited compassion at the close of a speech, asked our friend here, after he had sat down, whether he appeared to have raised pity in the audience: Very great pity, replied CraasuB, for I believe there -is no one here so hard-hearted btU tliat your speech seemed pitiaMe to him. Those jests amuse me extremely, vhich are expressed in passion and as it were with moroseness; not when they are uttered by a person really morose, for in that case it is not the wit, but the natural temper that is laughed at Of this kind of jest there is a very humorous example, as it appears to me, in NieviuB: — ■\Vhy inmini you, father I Strange tbst I do not eiag I I am cnndemn'u.
Contrasted with this there is a patient and cool species of the humorous: as when Cato received a stroke from a man carrying a trunk, who afterwards called to him to tale care, he asked him, whether he carried anything else besides the trunk f There is also a witty mode of eipoaing folly j as when the Sicilian to whom Scipio, when prsetor, assigned Hb host for an advocate in some cause, a man of rank but'^ ^Ki.]
^Ki.]
OS THE CnAKACTEn OF THE ORATOH.
estremely stupid, said, / beseech ymi, praior, give this advocate to my adversary, and give me rtone. Esplanatioiis of things, too, are amuaiug, which are given from oonjeoture iu a sense far different from that which they are intended to convey, but with ingenuity and aptness. As when Scriurus accused Kutilius of bribery, (at the time when he himself was made consul, and Kutilius suffered a disappointmoot,} and showed these letters iu KutiJius's books,^ A. F.F.E., and said that they signified, Actwm.Fide Pttblii JRufilii, ' transacted on the faith of Publius Rntiliua;' while Rutilius declared that they meant. Ante Factum, Post Relatwm, 'done before, entered after;' but Caius CaniuB, being on the side of Eufus, observed that neither of those senses was intended by the letters: What then M the meaning? inquired Scanrua. j^milms fieit, plec-(iiurSuftiius, replied Canius; ' /Bmiliiia is guilty, Kutilius is LXX. " A union of diacordant particulars is laughable: as. What is wanting to him, except foHune and virtue? A familiar reproof of a person, aa if ho woro in error, is also amusing; as when Albucius taunted Granius, because, when something appeared to be proved by Albucius from Graaius's. writing, Granius rejoiced extremely that Sctevola^ waa ao- / quitted, and did not understand that judgment was giver, against the credit of bis own writing. Similar to this '^s friendly admonition by way of giving advice; as when Grani us persuaded a bad pleader, who had made himself hoarse with speaking, to drink a cold mixture of honey and wino as ijoon as he got home; I shall ruin my voice, said he, 1/ J do bo. IS will be better, said Granius, than to ruin your clients. It is. a happy hit, too, when something is said that ia pecuiiatly applicable to the character of some particular person; aswhen Scaurus had incurred some unpopularity for having talwn possession of the effects of Phrygio Pompeins, a rich man who died without a will, and waa sitting as counsel for * Which Scaurus required to be produced on the triaL ' Texta vary greatly in this passege. I adhere Btrictlj to that of OrelliuB. " It appesra," 9a.js Pearcg, " that Scasvoln waa Bcciued of extortiau, as Cicero sajB in hia Brutus, and in the first book De Flnibus, and that Albucina, to prove the accusation, brought forward some writing of Granioa, who, when jni^ment was given in favour of Scievolo, did not understimd that it was at the same time given against his own DE oratoiie; or, Sestia, then imder impeachmentj Caius Memmius the accuser, 18 a, funerut procession passed by, said. Look, Saaurus, a dead iody ie going b-y, if you oan but get possession! But of all jokes I none create greater laughter than aometbing said contrary to expectation; of which there are eiamplee without number. ' Such was the saying of Appins the elder, "^ who, when the matter about the public lands, and the. law of Thoriua, was in agitation in the senate, and Lucilius was hard prereed by those who asaerted that the public paatnres were grazed by hia cattle, said, Theyarenot the cattle of Lvcilivs; you mistake; (Lb seemed to be going to defend Lucilius;) / looh upon tAfnt i tu free, for they feed where they please. ITiat saying also of the Sdpia who elew Tiberius Oracchus amuses ma When, after many charges were made against him, Marcus Flaccua propoeed Publius Mucius as on.e of hia judges, / except against %»n,said hs,he is unjust; and when this occasioned a general murmur. Ah! uaid he, / do not except against him, Oonseript Fathers, as unjust to me, but to everybody. But nothing could be more witty than the joke of our friend Crasaus. Whai V Silua, a witness, was injuring the cause of Piso, by something \ that he said he had heard against him, It is possible, said he, iSilus, that the person from whom you heard this said it in,inger. Silus assented. /( is possible, too, that you did not r ightly understand him. To thb also he assented with tiio lo vest of bowa, expressing entire agreement with Crassns. It iialsa possible, continued Crossus, thai what you say you have* heard you never kfard at all. This was so different from what was expected, that the witness was overwhelmed by a general laugh. Najvius is full of this kind of humour, and it 18 a familiar joke, Wise inan, if you, are cold you. will shake; and there are many other such sayii^ LXXT. " You may often also humoroualy grant to your adversary what he wiahea to detract from you; as Caius Lojlius, when a man of disreputable family told him that he waa unworthy of his ancestors, replied, £ut, by Herirules, you are worthy of yours, Jokea, too, are frequently uttered in a aenteutioua manner; as Marcus Cincius, on the day when he proposed his law about gifts and presents, and Caius ■Cento stood forth and asked him with some scorn. What are C. LXII.] ON THE BCAHACTEn OF THE OR4T you proposing, little Cineius? replied, That you, Caius, may pay for vi/uit yov. viieh to ute} Things also nhicli are impos-BibLe are often wished for with much wit; as Maroua Lepidus, when he lay down upon the graes, while others wore taking their exercise in the Campus Martius, exelaimed, / wish thu were labour.'' It is an excellent joke also to give inquisitive people who teaze you aa it "were, a calm answer, of such ti nature as they do not aspect; as Lepidus the censor, when be deprived Autistiua of Pyrgi of his horse;* aud his friends